Cass Batgirl and Conan yet again!

Here’s another version of Cass swinging in to rescue a cartoon mouse.  Why is Conan attacking such a cute li’l critter?  I don’t know.  Just a whimsical idea I had.  This is still pretty crude, done in a hurry over the “bones” of a previous version.  I still need to fix Conan’s right pectoral muscle, but this isn’t too horrid a drawing.  It’s not great, or even good, but it’s almost to the level of an especially clever monkey holding a pencil with his tail.

Yesterday during a meeting I did some beautiful drawings!  My linework flowed and the results were very pretty.  I’m slowly getting back into practice, trying to draw a little every day.  Let this be a lesson—you do lose abilities you don’t use.  I don’t have a lot of time for art these days and my skills suffer for it.  Practice, practice, practice.  Draw every single day.

Last week I read a couple of message board discussions about Cass fighting Conan and Karate Kid. 

I have to admit I know next to nothing about Karate Kid.  I do know enough about Conan to say this fight is problematic for Cass even though Conan doesn’t have Cass’ predictive or evasive abilities. 

Conan greatly exceeds Cass' strength, weight and reach, plus he also has more than enough practical fighting experience to more than match her in hand-to-hand skill, even if he lacks her finesse.  After all, Conan was literally born on a battlefield, spent his entire life practicing every type of combat imaginable in his era, showed considerable tactical brilliance in commanding troops in battle, has been depicted as single-handedly defeating entire groups of armed warriors, giant snakes and even a strange man-ape named Thak in a hand-to-hand fight, albeit with assistance. 

The last happened in the 1934 story "Rogues in the House," by Conan creator Robert E. Howard.  Comics creators have adapted this story at least twice and a scene based on it appears in the 1984 Arnold Schwarzenegger film Conan the Destroyer.  Consider Conan versus Thak for a moment.  We're not exactly sure what Thak is other than a "man-ape," but it's safe to say he's strong.  In the real world, there isn't a human alive who can take an adult ape.  A gorilla or even a fully-grown chimpanzee could rip the strongest man apart.  I think it's fair to assume Thak isn't as powerful as a gorilla or chimp, but he's probably many degrees more so than any given human.  As unlikely as it is, this is all in the Conan canon (hee hee!), so we have to take his success-- aided or not-- into account.

However, because she has speed and defensive skills far in excess of Conan's, Cass's position isn't completely hopeless.  If she has some time to observe Conan in action before engaging-- which would be a best-case scenario and highly variable depending on the circumstances of their meeting-- Cass will soon realize her best chance is to keep her distance and try to incapacitate Conan via some tranquilizing chemical agent and trap him with a very strong net or ropes.  Otherwise, Conan will beat her when it comes to actual one-on-one combat.  Possibly with a broad sword or even an axe.

Cassandra Cain versus Jubilee

This fight was long in coming, but I just read one of those Internet question thingies where some interested person asked who would win if Jubilee and Cassandra Cain/Batgirl/Black Bat fought.  The consensus was Cass would win, although one person commented, "Jubilee, hands down."  That person must be huffing ground-up Marvel comics for an expensive high because that answer is hallucinatory at best.

As a fan of both characters, I'd hope Cass and Jubilee would simply team up and fight some other person for some desperate, comic book-y reason.  But one of the things we do here (the royal "we," since this is a one idiot operation) is pit Cass against various characters from comics and other pop culture media entities.  We can imagine their initial encounter as one of those clichéd comic book mix-ups where two heroes meet for the first time, fight, then unite against a common foe, or two (one from each's standard rogue's gallery), but the fight is the thing here, not the overall story. 

So here's how things would go down if these two tangled.

It wouldn't last very long.  While Jubilee has Danger Room combat training and real world experience, there's no version of the character who can match Cass in hand-to-hand fighting.  Cass is simply one of the top two or three unarmed combatants in the world, and possibly at the same level with weapons.  Jubilee is, charitably put, not.  Unless a psychic teammate alerted Jubilee to Cass' presence, Cass would strike from the shadows and knock Jubilee out before the poor girl could ever use her mutant fireworks power.  Over before it even begins.

And even if Cass should miss with her first attack (she wouldn't unless Jubilee has some major help), it wouldn't take her long to figure out Jubilee's X-training patterns and dodge the little plasma balls tossed her way. Jubilee would be faced with the choice of grappling hand-to-hand with Cass (certain failure) or using her powers in much more violent and destructive way (really her only chance, but one she would find unappealing).  Operating under her ordinary moral constraints, Jubilee might dazzle Cass' eyes or even stun her for a moment's respite, but even so, this fight would last at most a minute or two.

That's classic Jubilee.  Vampire Jubilee would be another story.  I'm not certain just how many of the traditional vampire powers and weaknesses Marvel uses in its continuity, but if they use the familiar ones, vampire Jubilee would be largely impervious to most of Cass' martial arts attacks-- save those involving wooden stake strikes directly to the heart.  As vampires possess speed and strength in excess of most mortals (Superman-types excluded), Cass would have to be well-prepared in advance with vampire-specific weaponry.  It's doubtful Cass would carry holy water, garlic, stakes or religious symbols on her person under ordinary circumstances.  Vampires also possess various transformative abilities, one of which renders them as insubstantial as a mist or fog.  Kind of hard to fight mists and fogs. 

I can see this fight as having more than one possible outcome.  Under these circumstances, Cass would find herself outmatched and forced to use her smarts to out-think and therefore defeat Jubilee.  Jubilee, however, is a pretty smart cookie and doing so would prove easier said than done.  In this case, the fight goes to Jubilee barring some intervening circumstances-- nearness of dawn, for example, or whether or not Cass knew in advance her opponent was a vampire.  In either of those cases, Cass would win by exploiting Jubilee's vampiric weaknesses in much the same way people of lesser ability manage in multiple stories to destroy even the Lord of Vampires himself, Count Dracula.  And there's no way Jubilee is even close to being in Dracula's weight class.

Cassandra Cain versus Captain America

I saw a short discussion of this fight the other day and I put almost as much time into thinking about it as I did reading that discussion.  Writing about fights Cass would lose gets old, but I'm afraid Captain America would beat Cass.

Captain America can dodge machine gun bullets, for crying out loud.  Cass can only fake that skill if she sees the person with the gun and reads his or her movements.  That alone makes it unlikely Cass could tag Cap.  Cass could dodge Captain America's shield because she'd know when and where he was about to throw it, but once they went hand-to-hand, Cap's greater speed, strength and stamina give him more than a slight edge.

More than likely, however, this fight would end shortly after it began because Cap would find a way to reason with Cass and convince her they're both on the same side and their little physical tete-a-tete is the result of one of those cliched comic book misunderstandings.  Recognizing Cass as a fighter par excellence, Cap would impart some of his All-American leadership type wisdom then take Cass under his wing for a quick adventure, possibly breaking up some kind of Hydra-Intergang confederation.  Then they'd go back to their respective comic book universes.

This would actually make a pretty neat story.  I see it happening during Cass's Black Bat phase rather than her Batgirl days.  Jim Steranko on art or at least Paul Gulacy doing his best Steranko impersonation.

Cassandra Cain Versus the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad Vol. 2

We pick up our story in Tokyo, where Cass has beaten O-Ren Ishii and her bodyguards, the Crazy 88.  An angry Batman flies in to scold her and drag her reluctantly back to Gotham City.  Undaunted, Cass flees and after a brief night-time chase, eludes her mentor.  She knows she's risking a complete break with the man who has rapidly become a second father to her, but she's driven by her need to pursue these unusual and deadly people who remind her so much of herself.  Inside Cass rages a crisis of identity.  Using her own resources, she slips back across the Pacific and into the U.S. only to meet...

California Mountain Snake (Elle Driver).  California Mountain Snake briefly lulls Cass into a false sense of security by posing as an ally, but when the moment is right, strikes.  What follows is another sword fight, but Cass has developed katana expertise beyond anything California Mountain Snake can handle.  Cass ends the fight by temporarily blinding the one-eyed killer with a bright light, slipping behind her and shoving her into a filthy dumpster.  She closes the top and uses a small metal torch from her utility belt to seal it shut.  As Cass slips away, we hear California Mountain Snake raging and pounding away helplessly inside her dark prison.

Black Mamba/The Bride (Beatrix Kiddo).  Following up on information gleaned from Cass's defeated foes, Oracle reveals to Batman the location of the comatose Black Mamba.  Batman heads there hoping to intercept Cass who must also have access to this information.  Sensing something sinister at the facility, and backtracking the patient's origins, Batman begins to piece together the puzzle of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad.  When Cass finally does show up, Batman realizes he must let her work through her issues.  Grimly, he gives her approval to confront Bill himself.  If she can find him.  Because of the strain it's caused in their relationship, it's the most he's willing to do.  Oracle chides him for testing the girl and Batman questions his own motives.

But not before Black Mamba recovers from her coma during a course of events that exactly follow those in Kill Bill Vol. 1.  A freed California Mountain Snake makes her aborted attempt on Black Mamba's life.  Black Mamba kills her tormentors and regains the ability to walk and fight.  Cass confronts her before she heads off to wreak vengeance on the Deadly Vipers and Bill.  Realizing Cass is after Bill as well, Black Mamba cannot allow her to defeat him before she takes her own shot.  The two fight, a long, running battle that takes place over the rooftops near the hospital a la Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, with Black Mamba pursuing Cass just as Shu Lien did Jen Yu.  Both combatants believe the other knows where Bill is hiding.  They're fairly evenly matched, with Cass holding a slight advantage.  When the truth that neither knows where Bill is comes out, they stop their match and Black Mamba exacts an honor vow from Cass that they will meet again when it is all over and settle their differences once and for all, but that she must be the one who kills Bill.  Cass is shocked because she had only thought of bringing Bill to justice for his crimes and once again, she sees a reflection of the self she could have been.  In her confused state, she allows Black Mamba to slip away and experience the events of the Quentin Tarantino film.  Deciding she has to redeem herself in Batman's eyes, Cass breaks the vow she's only just made and grimly follows Black Mamba from a distance.

Bill.  Pursuing Black Mamba, Cass returns to many of the locations from the previous volume, only too late.  She witnesses the carnage left in Black Mamba's wake, becoming increasingly distraught at what she feels resulted from her failure to stop her when she had the chance.  She fears Batman will never forgive her for her lapse.  It's a horrible nightmare trip for her, a dark journey through an underworld she might once have easily inhabited herself.

After encountering the maimed Sofie Fatale and learning Bill's whereabouts, and having a phone conversation with him-- one-sided, of course, because Cass can barely understand what he's saying-- where Bill attempts to work his own charms on her and bring her onto the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad as its newest recruit (using the same logic he employs on Beatrix Kiddo in the film), Cass has an epiphany and now knows she has to save Bill from Black Mamba even though she considers him a very bad person indeed.

Unfortunately, she's once again too late and can only helplessly watch Bill's final moments.  Although she can't fully comprehend the feelings that pass between Black Mamba and Bill, she does know there are some things beyond her limited emotional experience.  Now having learned the full story and what the Deadly Vipers did to Black Mamba when she was The Bride, Cass offers a truce.  Seeing the now at peace Beatrix Kiddo reunited with her daughter sends Cass winging back to Gotham City to repair her relationship with Batman.  And to begin her own search for her elusive mother.  Of course the rigid Batman isn't too happy with her performance, but Oracle convinces him to back off for now.  There are some things about Cass that are also mysteries to them.

Yeah, kind of anti-climactic, huh?  Oh well, they can't all be winners.

Cassandra Cain versus the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad Vol. 1

It had to happen.  After briefly considering a fight between Cass and Mr. Kotter and his Sweathogs, I found myself thinking back to all those times-- possibly hundreds-- when I've suggested Cass's Batgirl series should have been more violent and tragic, along the lines of a Kazuo Koike work.  Lady Snowblood, for example, which provided Quentin Tarantino with some of his Kill Bill inspiration.  From there it was a simple imaginative leap to what I modestly call the Fight of the Century.

Cassandra Cain versus Bill and his Deadly Viper Assassination Squad.

Forget Vinnie Barbarino and Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington (for now).  Let's follow Cass around the world as she battles the most proficient team of professional killers ever known, each with his or her own murderous specialty.  Except for Bill himself and Beatrix Kiddo, who appear to be polymaths of death.

To be quite honest, there is no way an assassination squad operating on the highest levels like the Deady Vipers would ever confront Cass mano-a-mano.  Realistically, Bill would just have O-Ren "Cottonmouth" Ishii snipe Cass from a distance, fight over.  But even to accept the existence of people like these-- Cass aside-- requires suspension of disbelief.  And once having done that, we demand they put their skills on full display for our amusement.  And anyway, the possibilities contained within this scenario give me chills.  And they're multiplying.  I'm losing control.  Because the power this fight is supplying is electrifying!

Copperhead (Vernita Green).  Bill sends Copperhead, expert in both hand-to-hand combat and knife-fighting, after Cass first.  Copperhead wisely chooses to ambush Cass and their fight is a vicious one.  Copperhead is good, damn good, but she finds herself unable to land anything more than ineffectual glancing blows, and Cass manages several wicked strikes to let Copperhead know she's open for business.  At this point, Copperhead escalates the conflict with throwing knives, which Cass dodges.  As Copperhead tires and grows more desperate, she begins to make mistakes and Cass soon takes advantage, slipping inside Copperhead's guard, disarming her (breaking her wrist in the process), then putting her to sleep with a choke hold.  To Cass's surprise, Batman points out Copperhead actually managed to slice her just once, a shallow wound easily bandaged and not likely to cause any loss of speed or mobility.  Ashamed, Cass silently vows to do better next time.  Next time comes quickly...

Sidewinder (Budd).  Bill's brother Sidewinder is a more pragmatic fighter and comes after Cass with a shotgun loaded not with rock salt but with 12 gauge 00 buckshot.  Unfortunately for him, Copperhead's failure has cost the Deadly Vipers the vital element of surprise and Cass combat-rolls underneath the blast and comes up fighting.  Sidewinder is forced to use his shotgun as a club, but Cass has her opponent off-balance, landing a flurry of blows the tough Sidewinder almost manages to shrug off.  Years of alcohol abuse have dulled his combat edge, though, and Sidewinder succumbs faster than Copperhead.  A hotel room key leads Cass and Spoiler to Sidewinder's temporary lodgings, a seedy motel in a run-down Gotham City suburb.  There, among Sidwinder's possessions, Cass finds a katana.  Batman traces it to Hattori Hanzo and even though he forbids Cass to pursue the matter further and instructs her to shelter in a secret hideaway while he himself deals with Bill's assassins, Cass disobeys, but not before incapacitating Spoiler to keep her friend out of danger.  It's off to Okinawa for Cass.  Despite her lack of language skills, she's able to engage Hanzo in a quick "conversation" at his sushi restaurant and learns the next Deadly Viper to try her hand will be none other than...

Cottonmouth (O-Ren Ishii).  Just as the Bride's fight against Cottonmouth provided a violent spectacle at the end of the first Kill Bill, so must Cass's because it involves scores of black-suited gangsters doing their best to be the immoveable object in front of her unstoppable force.  O-Ren Ishii holds court at the the House of Blue Leaves, a large izakaya where she's protected by the Crazy 88 and serenaded by The 5678s.  Cottonmouth has learned the fates of both Copperhead and Sidewinder via Sophie Fatale's line of communications to Bill, and believes herself ready.  Cass infiltrates the izakaya and lays waste to the Crazy 88 in a spectacular fight scene that puts the one in Kill Bill Vol. 1 to shame, only with much less blood.  Incredibly, Cass kills not one single member of the gang, a feat that takes her longer than it did the Bride in the movie simply because Cass shows restraint.  She's able to knock out Gogo Yubari after a fast and furious scrap, and prepares to confront Cottonmouth, who is armed with her own katana.  This forces Cass to reluctantly use the one she took from Sidewinder, which she carried with her to force Cottonmouth to tell her more about the man who commissioned it (beyond what she's already learned from Hanzo).

They duel with blades flashing and ringing, with Cass outmatched at first but quickly learning to anticipate Cottonmouth's moves.  Soon she's pressing her attack and has Cottonmouth at a disadvantage.  With Cass suddenly distracted slightly by the possibility her opponent might also be her mother, Cottonmouth is able to wound Cass with a vicious slash.  This turns out to be a huge tactical mistake on Cottonmouth's part; with no chance to land a killing blow, a retreat to fight another day would have been the smarter move.  The cagey yakuza boss quickly realizes it, but too late.  Now fully committed to the contest, Cass disarms Cottonmouth and renders her helpless.  Sofie Fatale then reveals more information in order to free her boss from Cass's clutches, not suspecting that Cass would never kill, at least not on purpose.  Now fully apprised of the conspiracy against her, Cass leaves the defeated Cottonmouth to lick her wounds and plan for her own revenge.

End of Vol. 1!

The news for Cass Cain so far this week is... no news!

I just did my daily Cass search and no one is talking about her today.  Unless it's buried in some message board discussion, in which case I haven't read it because who has the time?  Even for a dedicated Cass fanatic like me there's only so much detective work I can do.

Here at work.

If I had the day off I'd do a few Cass doodles and post them here.  I have a new "Cass vs." fight coming soon.  It's one I consider the best yet, although I'm partial to the one where I have her fight the 4077th MASH for reasons known but to my subconscious.  Look for more of those whenever an impish mood strikes (and I have the time to indulge), plus reviews of every single issue of Batgirl starring Cass.  Sometime this week or over my winter break I'm going to edit some old essays I wrote about Cass-- and take out things I now believe to be wrong or stupid-- then post them here, too.

Content suggestions are very welcome.  Got an aspect of Cass you'd like to see explored, discussed, pondered, mistaken, confused or rendered impossibly obtuse?  Let me know and I'll take care of it for you.

And finally-- the best thing that's happened around here is someone commented.  Madeleine M., you made my weekend!  Comments on this blog are slightly less rare than Cass Cain appearances in the New 52.  And that means they're very much appreciated.  I tried to reply but Blogger's acting a little funny.

Cassandra Cain versus M*A*S*H

Imagine a time-displaced Batgirl finding herself dropped into the war-torn hills of 1951 Korea.  Or, if you prefer, the pretend war-torn hills of 1970s southern California.  What would happen if Cass found herself at war with the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital?  Of course, I'm talking the TV version, not the Robert Altman film.

Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce.  Hawkeye doesn't present much of a physical challenge to Cass.  He's either exhausted from hours of meatball surgery or else hung over from some down-time debauchery involving home-brewed martinis and a nurse or two.  Or else he's waxing maudlin over some heartbreaking aspect of the Korean War.  Hawkeye isn't much on fighting and generally refuses to participate in calisthenics, preferring more leisurely pursuits as golf, womanizing and being sanctimonious.  Cass has Hawkeye down and out of the fight faster than you can write "Dear Dad" or order ribs from your favorite barbecue restaurant back in the States.

Captain John "Trapper John" McIntyre.  This depends on what era of M*A*S*H Cass encounters.  But in order to explore this possibility completely, we have to consider all the characters.  Trapper John is slightly more a physically challenging specimen than Hawkeye, but is similarly worn down by the rigors of combat medicine and likely drunk as well.  Cass soon disables him and moves on to her next opponent.

Major Frank Burns.  Burns talks a good game, but he's generally craven and ineffectual.  When his facade of military authority gives way in the face of Cass's inability to understand Burns's verbal orders and bluster, the hapless and largely incompetent doctor falls to his knees and pleads for mercy, citing his wife and children back home.  Cass can't understand this either, and rocks Burns to sleep with a quick multi-punch combo or roundhouse kick to the head.

Captain B.J. Hunnicutt.  Replacing McIntyre, Hunnicutt attempts to fool Cass with one of his ingenious practical jokes, and with a fall-back plan to distract her with a heartwarming anecdote about his beloved wife Peg.  The joke provides just enough of a delay to allow Hunnicutt to dye his hair and mustache bright red and then ride off on his motorcycle before Cass can grapple with him.  The Peg anecdote would not help, so it's just as well Hunnicutt never has to use it.

Major Charles Emerson Winchester III.  Large-framed and patrician, Winchester deploys condescension and pretentiousness in an effort to thwart Cass's relentless assault.  Undaunted, Cass presses her attack.  Fortunately for the Boston-born Winchester, Cass is somewhat gentled by his desperate ploy of having a small group of North Korean prisoners serenade her with classical music.  As a result, Cass uses a relatively painless choke-hold to subdue him.

Major Margaret "Hot Lips" Houlihan.  Cass's most formidable foe amongst the 4077th personnel, but her Regular Army ways and training are still no match whatsoever for Cass's almost superhuman martial arts skills.  Fearless to a fault, Houlihan witnesses the pathetic display by Burns and, angered at his mentioning of his stateside family, takes the fight to Cass only to fall within seconds.  In her unconscious state, Houlihan dreams of her former husband Lt. Col. Donald Penobscot and wearing a bloody wedding dress while tending to wounded G.I.s.

Corporal Walter "Radar" O'Reilly.  Possessed of a predictive ability that rivals Cass's, Radar manages to avoid Cass's first assault, but soon must engage her mano-a-mano.  Resorting to his little-used basic combat training and then using his teddy bear as a cudgel, Radar is barely a blip in Cass's path.  This fight is the second shortest, after the Burns match-up.  Cass pauses a moment to kiss Radar's forehead and experiences a pang of regret.

Lt. Colonel Henry Blake.  Laid-back and avuncular under ordinary circumstances, yet ervous and high-strung in a fight, Blake nevertheless attempts to defend himself with his service pistol.  Cass quickly disarms him and sends him packing, where he meets his fate over the Japan Sea.  Eyes tear up across the nation, but Carol Burnett offers a happier alternative the next night.

Colonel Sherman T. Potter.  A toughened former cavalryman and veteran of both World Wars, Potter is way too aged to fight Cass one-on-one.  Still, the conscientious commanding officer bravely refuses to surrender his post or abandon his people.  After reluctantly but shrewdly calling in an artillery strike on the hospital camp itself, which Cass survives by hiding in a slit trench, Potter mounts his horse Sophie and attempts an old-fashioned cavalry charge.  Horse and rider succumb to a whirlwind Cass counterattack, but in deference to Potter's advanced age and brittle bones, Cass again relies on relatively painless techniques against the colonel.  Sophie she allows to wander free.  Under the guidance of Dr. Sidney Freedman, and in order to facilitate his recovery, Potter later therapeutically paints a portrait of Cass from memory.

Nurse Kealani Kellye.  She confronts Cass with an impassioned speech about feeling unappreciated and ignored, but Cass can't make heads or tails of it.  Confused, Cass simply slips around her, leaving Nurse Kellye to look within and discover her own path to self-esteem.

Corporal/(later) Sergeant Maxwell Q. Klinger.  Master of disguise Klinger dons traditional Korean women's dress borrowed from his wife Soon-Lee and the two of them escape back to Toledo and set up housekeeping, relieved at Klinger's not having to get his ass kicked.  After the war, they invite Cass to dinner where she's entertained by their body language as the marrieds bicker over the results of Klinger's latest somewhat shady money-making scheme.  Cass is able to convince Bruce Wayne to bail them out financially and they live happily ever after.  For the most part.

Colonel Flagg.  The menacing yet obtuse counterintelligence officer is the most competent fighter Cass must face at the 4077th.  He accuses Cass of Communist subversion and tells her in a clipped voice about causing his own father to have to wear orthopedic shirts, but once they begin to fight it doesn't take Cass too long to penetrate Flagg's defenses and land a knock-out blow-- a straight kick to the chin.  Regaining consciousness later, Flagg tells no one he's the wind, then leaps out a window and breaks his leg while attempting to escape and report on Cass's activities to his superiors.  Cass secretly thinks of him as alarmingly similar to her mentor, Batman.

First Lieutenant/(later) Captain Father John Patrick Francis Mulcahey.  Come on!  What are you thinking?  Cass doesn't fight Father Mulcahey.  He does attempt to physically restrain her at one point and angrily denounces her propensity for violence, but they don't exactly tangle.  He's present at the Klinger dinner later where he tipsily commends Cass for her "jocularity."  She has no idea what the word means.

Cassandra Cain versus Iron Fist!

It's fun to pit characters from one company against characters from another.  After all, now that Cass doesn't exist, any fight between her and another character is strictly hypothetical, so why not be the hypo-ist of the thetical?  I seem to toss Cass up against heroes, though.  I enjoy that more than a hero-villain dust up and the results are easier to plan or predict.  A discussion I didn't bother to read on Comic Vine inspired this, the latest entry in my "Cassandra Cain versus" series.

What happens when martial artist Cass fights martial artist Iron Fist?

All things being equal, she absolutely would win with her move predictive ability and resulting defensive superiority, while matching Iron Fist's offensive skills.  Perhaps she's not as physically strong as he is, but she'd make up for that with speed and endurance.  She would also be learning his techniques as they fought, thus gaining all of his skills plus her own.

Unfortunately, all things aren't equal.  Danny "Iron Fist" Rand has a lot of supernatural/metaphysical martial arts powers that, frankly, put him out of Cass's class, so I seriously doubt she could defeat him.  Iron Fist could focus his chi and overmatch Cass in every category and she couldn't learn those things simply by observing and sparring anymore than she could learn Spider-Man's spider-sense or Mr. Fantastic's stretching ability.  Cass has a chance if she somehow provoked Iron Fist into using his "iron fist" ability, somehow dodged the strike, then counter-attacked while he was drained.

Failing that, her only course would be purely defensive-- staying out of Iron Fist's reach and then escaping.  Sorry, Cass.  If it's any consolation, I'm pretty sure you could beat Shang-Chi, master of Kung Fu, and he's no slouch himself.

Cassandra Cain versus the Incredible Hulk!

This one is easy to call.  Of course Batgirl Cass loses to the Hulk, but after a year or two of experience and further training, Black Bat Cass easily takes down the Jade Giant.  It happens like this...

Okay, okay.  That was silly.  Almost as silly as imagining a fight between Cassandra Cain and the Incredible Hulk in the first place.  It wouldn't really matter which version of Cass fight the Hulk, the Hulk would win.  The Hulk defeats most heroes and villains because he's fast, gets stronger the angrier you make him (you know, by doing things like... oh... fighting him), he's indefatigable and close to invulnerable.  The Hulk is a Superman-level opponent.  He's thumped the Thing on several occasions, after all.  Cass has no business fighting the Hulk.

I do remember a comic where Batman tangled with the Hulk and slapped his ears, causing the Hulk to release him from a crushing bear hug.  A writer taking liberties.  First of all, the Hulk could literally squish Batman between his hands and second of all, I seriously doubt Batman has the physical strength to pop the Hulk's ears.  So I don't see Cass faring any better if the Hulk should somehow turn up in Gotham City.  What she would do is try to distract him and delay him long enough for the Justice League and the Avengers to come to the rescue.  The Hulk and the super-teams would destroy large portions of central Gotham in the ensuing battle, which Cass, Spoiler and the Robins would largely serve as observers of, while rescuing what citizens they could.

After the Hulk reverts back to Bruce Banner and S.H.I.E.L.D. takes him away (Project Cadmus wants him for DNA testing, but Banner falls under the Marvel jurisdiction), Batman grudgingly tells Cass she did a good job, but only after Barbara Gordon shames him into doing so.

Cassandra Cain Versus Delta Tau Chi!

Those crazy Deltas.  Always pulling pranks on Dean Wormer.  Always throwing toga parties.  Exploding toilets, filling the trees around campus with underwear, dumping a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet, having the medical school cadavers delivered to the alumni dinner.  Finally crashing the Faber College Homecoming parade and causing untold damage to the community resulting in bankruptcy of DePasto Auto Sales, plus the end of Wormer's academic career in the ensuing scandal over his high-handed tactics as a school administrator.

Yes, the Deltas defeated Dean Wormer and the snobbish WASP-types of the Omega Theta Pi fraternity who were so willing to do his dirty work and ended up in various fascistic establishment jobs such as Army officer and Nixon White House aide.  But how would they fare against DC's greatest martial artist, a young woman raised from infancy with violence as her native language?

Let's find out!

Flounder.  As easy take-down for Cass, Flounder offers little to no resistance whatsoever.  He might try to trip her up by throwing six thousand marbles at her feet, but she could easily anticipate such a move and leap to firmer footing, then swiftly close the distance, at which point Flounder has no natural defenses.  A quick grasp of his untucked pajama bottoms and Flounder finds himself vulnerable to all kinds of choke holds and close-quarter combat moves.

Pinto.  Slender and in better shape than his friend Flounder, Pinto is similarly overmatched by Cass.  His sole chance would be to disorient her with his high-pitched giggle, but there is little chance of this providing more than a moment's hesitation on Cass's part.

Stork.  Perhaps the most unusual looking of the Deltas with his odd haircut and long raincoat, Stork has no defensive or offensive techniques beyond perhaps calling Cass a "MOE-RON!"  Since this would be meaningless sound to her, she'd quickly make hash of the Stork, perhaps giving him real brain-damage to go with the assumed.

Mothball.  A generic Delta pledge, he would go down quickly having made little or no impression on Cass.

Hoover.  His main defense is to try to reason with Cass using his superior communication and persuasive skills.  However he would fail because Cass doesn't understand human language.  She would comprehend his defensive body posture, and while he's larger and somewhat more physically capable than Pinto, the fight would last no longer and the result would be the same.

Boon.  Boon relies mostly on evasion and his quick wit, neither of which would have much effect on Cass. A characteristic Boon tactic is to pretend to dance with his opponent, then to fall limp in his or her arms.  Cass could predict the final move, allow Boon to drop to the ground, then bring her foot down on his face, rendering him unconscious at once.  Alternately, she might then clamber on top of him and attempt an arm bar or an ankle lock, snapping the bone if Boon refuses to tap out.

Otter.  Otter has a certain smarmy charm and ability as a ladies' man, but Cass would dodge his sexual entreaties and malaprop double entrendres regarding cucumbers and administer a swift beating to Otter, perhaps blackening one of his eyes and disheveling the shirt underneath his sweater.  He does have a  decent right cross, but there's absolutely no chance he would get a chance to land it.

D-Day.  Fight incomplete.  Current whereabouts unknown.

Bluto.  A force of nature, and possessed of limitless endurance and the ability to rapidly chug an entire fifth of Jack Daniels in a matter of seconds, Bluto would nevertheless succumb to Cass's superior fighting skills.  She might find herself surprised momentarily by Bluto's near-superhuman resilience, but in the end she'd still find his weak point and incapacitate him in a way mere alcohol seems unable to.

The chances of Cass having to fight the Deltas are very small.  It's more likely she'd find her opponents from among the following:

The Faber College ROTC.  Led by cadet officer Douglas C. Neidermeyer and numbering among its ranks one freshman recruit Chip Diller, the ROTC aligns itself with the more authoritarian Omegas rather than the free-spirited, anarchic Deltas.  A likely scenario finds Dean Wormer calling upon the ROTC to attempt to capture or perhaps (in the case of Neidermeyer, who carries a live round just in case) kill Cass to prevent campus unrest as per a little known codicil to the Faber College constitution, and the resulting battle would end in much the same way as the infamous Blutarsky Cafeteria Incident:  with a badly injured Neidermeyer trapped underneath a pile of uniformed figures, only this time all of them in various states of semi- or unconsciousness.

Omega Theta Pi.  The likeliest opponent faced by Cass during her campus visit.  While the Deltas might welcome her as a kindred spirit as they do with Boon's on-and-off-again girlfriend Katy-- they are considered "toxic" by the college administration, these cocky, overweening children of privilege would more than likely take umbrage at Cass's appearance and instigate some sort of foolish attempt to discredit her, perhaps by luring her to a hotel room for an ambush or by ostracizing her socially.  President Greg Marmalard would prove the limpest opposition to Cass despite talking a good game.  Ultimately, he's too soft and possessed of something of a glass chin.  This fight would last a few minutes only because of the sheer number of fraternity members involved.  It would take Cass time to work her way through their house and back out into the night where she might be briefly tempted to join the pillow fight with Babs Jansen and Mandy Pepperidge at the nearby sorority house before deciding on  heading back to Gotham City for greater challenges.

Possibly driving Deathmobile, which, with slight modifications, would make the perfect Cass Batmobile.

Cass versus the Robins!

I've shared my opinion on a couple of Marvel characters who could beat Cass.  Cass defeated?  Yes, it has to happen.  Otherwise she'd just be invincible and never in any kind of jeopardy, which renders a lot of the external conflict comics are based on pointless. But as a Cass fan, I enjoy stories where she wins.  And as the best pure martial artist in the DC universe, there are quite a number of characters she can beat.  In fact, she could probably defeat any non-powered character other than Batman himself.

Ever since Adam Beechen threw a little possible romance in between Cass and Tim Drake in Robin issues 150-151 (July, August 2006), one of my little funny things to do is draw little doodles of Cass putting a variety of hurtings on a lovestruck Tim.  Usually with the sound effect "BEECHEN!"  While this would never happen in the comics-- they're just good friends-- it's pretty much how it would play out if the two did tangle.  Because there's not a Robin past or present Cass couldn't whup with one hand tired behind her back.  Here's how I see the various Robins against Cass:

Dick Grayson?  He'd put up the best fight, but how much of one depends on which Dick she fights.  Kid Dick from the Golden and Silver Ages would last no longer than any of the later Robins-- mere seconds-- but the older Nightwing Dick could stand toe-to-toe with Cass for a while before she'd inevitably knock him the hell out.  After all, this guy substituted for Batman.  Still, there's no way we can have a Dick Grayson who's just as powerful a fighter as his mentor-- otherwise why have a Batman in the first place?-- and the comics definitively establish Cass as being a formidable foe for the Caped Crusader himself.  Therefore, Dick falls into third place in the Bat-family fighter pantheon behind Batman and Cass.

The caveat to this is if Dick cheats somehow.  He's a bit brighter than Cass, and has to be because of his status as substitute-Batman, Batman being the World's Greatest Detective.  Cass is no dummy.  She's quite smart, actually.  But Dick (despite being depicted as a complete idiot due to shaky writing at times) must be close to genius.  My reasoning behind this is while Batman would no doubt train his kid army to be as skilled as possible in all aspects of their mission, he must also realize not everyone can excel at everything.  He happens to be a polymath, but it's unreasonable for him to expect everyone else to be.  Better to have them specialize.  He started Dick's training before he figured this out and it's sort of traditional for a Robin to fill that role.  So Dick has come farthest towards the all-around standards of his teacher, but Cass is a particularly sharp knife and we do not use such a knife as a hammer and expect it to cut when we need it to later.  Cass needs a certain level of detective/brain ability but she's better as a pure fighter.

So Dick has a shot at finding some weakness of Cass's to exploit.  Not likely, however.

Jason Todd?  Alive or dead, Robin or Red Hood, Cass can take him.  He's a rawer form of Grayson, created as a mere substitute and as such, not to be taken completely seriously.  I've always questioned the need for a Robin in the first place.  Once we grant that first Robin, it takes effort to justify putting a child in danger and really puts Batman's judgement in question (even more so than disguising himself as a bat on the theory that criminals as a whole are a "cowardly, superstitious lot").  Still, most people expect Batman to have a Robin (even if you're not a comic fan, the phrase "Batman and Robin" rings a bell), hence Jason after Dick becomes Nightwing.  Hand-me-down characters get harsher beat-downs than originals.  That's just how it works.

Tim Drake?  Not even a contest.  If we posit a Dick Grayson defeat by Cass, and another one with Jason Todd, then obviously this later, lesser Robin has to fall as well.  As a youngster, Tim Drake's not even as formed an adventurer as either of the previous Robins.  Much less experienced.  Yeah, he's become a fine Red Robin, but even now there's no way he could stand against Cass and her lifetime of violence and the resultant special abilities she possesses.  In any story where he's even give her the slightest problem can be chalked up to writer error.

Stephanie Brown?  Less of a fight than even Drake.  In her own comic Cass has been shown to knock Steph out in a casual, off-handed way that smacks of zero effort expended.

Damian Wayne?  Despite his having an upbringing similar to Cass's, she eats him alive, and the indigestion she momentarily suffers is the only difficulty she encounters.  Tactical genius or not, raised by the League of Assassins and all that, he's still a child with a child's physique.  Cass also has him on skill level.  If he lives to adulthood, then we might see something amazing, along the lines of Cass versus Batman.  But given his personality, what are the chances of that?

Cassandra Cain versus Spider-Man!

I spent a chunk of yesterday reading various "Cass versus" match-ups on different message boards.  One for some reason posited a cage fight between Cass and an oddly de-powered Spider-Man.  The discussion that followed was full of RPG-derived jargon and terms like "nerfing," none of which I'll go into here.  When I talk Cass-fights, I'm approaching them from a practical, reality-based standpoint (as much as possible when discussing superheroes and magical beings) and as a writer might.

Unfortunately for Cass, Spider-Man is quite a bit out of her power range.  As I previously discussed, she may even have a problem reading his body language and predicting his moves if his movements happen to incorporate anything spider-like.  This might even be something Spidey's less sensitive foes would never have noticed, but to Cass would be like an irritating buzz just inside the hearing frequencies on some slightly flawed master tape to an expert audiophile.  That's just the start of her problems.

I believe Cass would be able to land quite a few blows despite Spider-Man's own spider-sense power and his beyond-human speed and agility, but the Wall-Crawler also possesses incredible resistance to pain and injury.  Otherwise his web-swinging acrobatics would have snapped his all-to-human neck or he would have succumbed to any of the number of high-powered blows he's experienced through the years.  With her predictive senses only somewhat helpful, Cass still finds herself tagging Spidey, but unable to deal him serious  injury.  Meanwhile, she proves vulnerable to his attacks-- and remember, his strength level is well above an ordinary human's.  Spidey finds Cass very nimble in her own right and capable of dodging some of his punches and kicks, but he's pounding her a lot more than she's pounding him.

Cass might be able to learn some of Spidey's more human-like moves and attacks, but her body-- as peak conditioned as it is-- remains that of a base line human.  Cass's fantastic martial arts prowess is ultimately no match for Spidey's freakish nature and greater experience.  The resulting fight is brutal, goes on a little longer than Spider-Man might expect or like, but in the end, Cass succumbs.

And that's without Spidey having to use his web-shooters.  What if he did employ them?  Well, I don't think Cass has much a defense against those, and even if she did, Spidey could possibly whip up enough netting to gum Cass up but good.  She could probably find something in her utility belt to free herself, but not before Spidey closes for the coup de grace.

On the other hand, a likely scenario would be the cliched meet-n-fight followed by a team-up where they take down Kingpin who's allied with Penguin for some nefarious scheme that stretches from Gotham City to New York City.  If I wrote it, however, I'd just combine the two settings into just New York, with Gotham as its nickname.  No cross-dimensional shenanigans for this cross-company cross-over if you please!

Cassandra Cain versus Taskmaster!

Comic Vine's discussion boards are a goldmine of super-wonky comic book discussions about who would win in practically any fight you can imagine.  Now the closest things to superpowers Cass has are her abilities to read people's body language and therefore anticipate their next moves and to learn new fighting styles in a matter of minutes just by watching.  Batman taught her stick fighting from novice to expert in about five minutes.  Now since there's no way he showed her every possible strike, counterstrike and defense in those five minutes or so, we have to assume some sort of higher function when it comes to understanding martial arts-- once she grasps the basic concept, she can use her superior skills and strangely-wired mind to extrapolate from there until she has that expert-level proficiency without having to spend years in practice.

What I'm getting at is what happens when she fights someone with similar abilities?  Like Marvel's Taskmaster?  Taskmaster can almost instantaneously learn someone's fighting skills just by watching them, which then gives him something like Cass's predictive ability.  Well, the fans at Comic Vine hash it out pretty thoroughly, but here's my take.

All things being equal, and both unarmed, I think his greater strength gives Taskmaster the edge, but if Cass can stay a step ahead of Taskmaster, she has a chance to wear him down.  Taskmaster and Deathstroke are roughly analogous, and Deathstroke has always given Cass fits.  Cass would have a better time predicting Taskmaster's moves than she did Deathstroke's because Deathstroke had some kind of funky kinetic dissonance going on that confused Cass, and she'd be learning from Taskmaster and gaining skills (while Taskmaster would peak out once he'd watched Cass's base martial artistry-- all else would be superfluously his own), but I don't think her greater speed takes his size and mass.

But Taskmaster isn't stupid, so he'd ambush Cass using his sword or fake Captain America shield.  Surprised and off-balance from the start by Taskmaster's assault, there's no way Cass develops the skill level fast enough to win even if she found a sword of her own to use.  Yes, I said Cass would beat Katana under similar circumstances, but Katana isn't Cass's match in pure martial artistry.

Unfortunately, I have to give this one to Taskmaster.  It would be one heck of a fight, though.

Cass versus everybody!

What would happen if Cassandra Cain fought other comic book characters?  We've seen it in the actual comic books, of course.  I'm not talking about stories we've seen.  I'm talking stories we will probably never see in a million reboots.  Who would Cass beat?  Who would beat Cass?  The answer is, "The winner would be whoever the scripter needed it to be, regardless of logic or reader opinion."  But this is the Internet where everyone has an opinion, including this blogger.  After desperately looking for Cass news and finding nothing but a lot of hardcore comic book fans debating Cassandra Cain versus Domino (the Marvel character, not the real person played by Keira Knightley), I've decided to share mine.  I'm going to be objective as possible.  None of that "Character X loses because I hate Character X" crap that invalidates some fan's arguments.

Here we go:

Batman.  Batman wins.  Batman always wins.  Cass may be nigh-untouchable and capable of punching Batman hard enough to make him spit up blood, but Batman has the ineffable quality of simply being Batman.  Plus, if Cass could beat Batman, what would be the point of having a Batman?  In story terms, he's got years of experience on her, plus he's a smarter and would cheat if necessary.  But I seriously doubt it would be necessary.

Superman.  I know Frank Miller popularized the idea Batman would beat Superman, but in truth, Superman would smear Batman.  In that he could literally reduce Batman to a red smear at nearly the speed of light.  So if Batman beats Cassandra and Superman beats Batman, obviously Superman beats Cass.

Wonder Woman.  Much like the Superman fight, this is a person whose power level is far beyond Cass's capabilities.  Wonder Woman in a walk.

Batgirl.  Which one?  Barbara Gordon or Stephanie Brown or Helena Bertinelli, Cass takes them all, either singularly or in a group.  She'd mop up the floor with them. But she'd rather not.

Supergirl.  Pretty much the same as the Superman fight.  Minus those crystal shards from the time these two actually tangled.  To be honest, I'm thinking of classic Supergirl.  Who would still win.

Robin.  Again, any Robin, doesn't matter.  Cass would stomp their guts out.

Flash.  Cass can't fight what she can't see and probably can't touch.  Flash.

Green Lantern.  Any of them would defeat Cass by surrounding her with some kind of airtight green energy bubble and suffocating her.  Green Lantern wins.

Isis.  While Cindy Lee tries to convince Cass that Isis is really an awesome person, Cass springs completely over the ever-cheerful Larkspur High factotum, jukes past a confused Rick Mason, avoids some words of wisdom from Dr. Barnes... only to lose to Isis because Isis is MAGICAL.

Katana.  An impressive battle ends with a tired and injured Cass holding Katana captive at the point of her own katana.

Swamp Thing.  Cass would mulch and mulch and never win this one.

Teen Titans.  Any version of this group would lose to Cass.  She'd find a way to exploit their stupidity against them.  Kid Flash, Wonder Girl and Cyborg each stand a chance, but they'd trip up somehow.  Titans just aren't that bright.

Funky Flashman and Houseroy.  Funky falls foul trying to trick Cass into headlining some kind of circus act, then she whips his ass in seconds flat, then does the same to poor Houseroy.

Mr. Miracle and Big Barda.  My favorite married couple wins not because they're my favorite married couple but because Mr. Miracle escapes every trap and Big Barda is the consummate warrior.

X-23.  The female Wolverine clone with the foot claws and all that.  I like to think of her as Marvel's answer to Cass.  Even though Wolverine is the most overexposed of heroes, which means here's yet one more version of the same guy, X-23's a nifty character in her own right.  This is one I'd love to see happen.  Cass might be faster and overall a better fighter, but X-23 has healing powers and claws.  It would be a tremendous fight, but I have to give the edge to X-23.

Spider-Man.  Spidey would have to get over his initial squeamishness at fighting a young girl and pull out all the stops.  I'm not sure how Cass's "reading the person's body language" would help her with someone whose body language is kind of spidery and has webshooters.  Spider-Man would take a few blows early in the match until he wakes up and realizes Cass isn't playing around, and then his superhuman abilities would give him the edge and Cass would find herself in a sticky situation, dangling helplessly from a streetlight.

Hulk.  Cass would dodge him for a while but she'd get tired eventually, and Hulk never would.  Her only hope is evading him long enough for the Air Force or Army to come to her rescue.  Otherwise, bye bye Cass.

Iron Man.  Beats Cass from a distance.

Fantastic Four.  Sue would prove the deciding factor here.  The Thing's not fast enough, and neither is Mr. Incredible.  Johnny could possibly kill Cass from afar, but he'd never do that.  Instead, the Invisible Woman would use a variation on the Green Lantern gambit and render her unconscious, allowing the team to safely capture Cass and place her under observation until some sort of arrangement could be worked out with Batman.

The Punisher.  If he snipes Cass from 1000 yards with a 7.62 x 51mm M40A5, he has a chance.  And that's more than likely what he'd choose to do if he has advance intelligence on her.  Up close, he finds himself frustrated by Cass's lightning fast dodges and attacks and soon finds himself on the south side of Rubber Leg Street.

Silver Surfer.  By the Power Cosmic, it's the bald metallic space guy without breaking a sweat!

Uncanny X-Men.  Cass stomps her way through some of the junior members and underclasspeople, but then she has to fight the boss squad of such heavyweights as Cyclops, Storm, Colossus and Wolverine himself.  That part wouldn't last long, and if she survives, the end result would be similar to her fight with the Fantastic Four.

New Mutants.  Cass would cream Moonstar, dodge Cannonball, knock Wolfsbane out, easily thump Doug... but then she has to face Sunspot, Warlock and Magma.  She could probably dance rings around Sunspot, but Warlock proves problematic and Magma has massive ranged attacks with lava and earthquakes.  If Magik joins in, and Karma, we're looking at about half an issue of fighting, then half an issue of the kids wondering what to do with a beaten, exhausted Cass.  They'd all end up having a slumber party, I'm sure.

Wolverine.  Like the X2-3 fight, only much, much shorter.

Nexus.  No contest.  Nexus disintegrates Cass before the fight even gets started.  But he wouldn't because she isn't a mass murderer, just a murderer when crappy writers pen her stories.

Gen13.  The classic group.  They're not much smarter than the Teen Titans despite Caitlin Fairchild's supposed super-genius status, but they'd eventually win.  Eventually.  Grunge and Burnout crap out early because of their horndog tendencies, leaving Fairchild, Freefall and Rainmaker to close the deal with a series of ranged attacks until Fairchild can get in close and deal a distracted Cass a knock-out blow.

Maggie and Hopey.  Cass versus las Locas.  Despite Maggie's having dabbled in superheroics, this wouldn't last very long at all.  It would be funny as hell, though.

Judge Dredd.  If it came down to strictly hand-to-hand, Cass has the edge but Dredd would just shoot her with a heat-seeking bullet and that would be that.

Enid and Rebecca.  See "Maggie and Hopey" above.  These two girls would snark themselves into a world of hurt.

Hellboy.  Hellboy would clean Cass's clock.

Uncle Creepy.  Uncle Creepy tries to disorient Cass by drawing her into the nightmare world of his various horror stories, but soon finds she's as fearless as they come.  Fighting her way through various axe murderers, vampires, werewolves and zombies, Cass confronts Creepy and chokes him out, then scampers back to her own comic book universe.

Archie Andrews.  Cass would destroy America's favorite teen.

Richie Rich.  Not even his vast wealth could save the poor little rich boy... unless he can hire one of the potential winners from this list as his champion.

Casper the Friendly Ghost.  Incorporeal ghost boy defeats corporeal martial artist every time.  Casper couldn't frighten Cass, and he wouldn't actually fight her. He'd just drive her away with his annoying attempts at befriending her.

Okay, that's not quite everybody.  Just all the characters I can think of at the moment, plus I've run out of steam.  If you have any suggestions, just let me know and I'll give you my honest determination of winner and loser.