Or even just featuring Stephanie as a guest character.
I find The Outhousers to be very hit-or-miss with their attempts at humor, but the headline "Marvel to Bring Back Stephanie Brown" made me laugh. It's exactly the kind of absurdist joke that tickles me. I planned to write a little blog entry about it over a month ago but never got around to it, never had much time. Today I found time so I did a quick Google news search and found...
It's actually Marvel's joke! Well, no matter. It's still funny. It would be funnier still if Marvel follows through with it. Now that would be the kind of absurdist joke that both tickles me and gets some of my money. They could toss in Cass and make me a confirmed Marvelite.
I've often suggested Marvel do a buddy book starring Dani Moonstar and Xi'an Coy Manh as they travel the US (or even the world) in a Chevy Custom van and solve people's problems. Hey, why not throw Steph and Cass in there, too? Maybe they could be a band or something.
Showing posts with label Marvel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marvel. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Cassandra Cain versus the Incredible Hulk!
This one is easy to call. Of course Batgirl Cass loses to the Hulk, but after a year or two of experience and further training, Black Bat Cass easily takes down the Jade Giant. It happens like this...
Okay, okay. That was silly. Almost as silly as imagining a fight between Cassandra Cain and the Incredible Hulk in the first place. It wouldn't really matter which version of Cass fight the Hulk, the Hulk would win. The Hulk defeats most heroes and villains because he's fast, gets stronger the angrier you make him (you know, by doing things like... oh... fighting him), he's indefatigable and close to invulnerable. The Hulk is a Superman-level opponent. He's thumped the Thing on several occasions, after all. Cass has no business fighting the Hulk.
I do remember a comic where Batman tangled with the Hulk and slapped his ears, causing the Hulk to release him from a crushing bear hug. A writer taking liberties. First of all, the Hulk could literally squish Batman between his hands and second of all, I seriously doubt Batman has the physical strength to pop the Hulk's ears. So I don't see Cass faring any better if the Hulk should somehow turn up in Gotham City. What she would do is try to distract him and delay him long enough for the Justice League and the Avengers to come to the rescue. The Hulk and the super-teams would destroy large portions of central Gotham in the ensuing battle, which Cass, Spoiler and the Robins would largely serve as observers of, while rescuing what citizens they could.
After the Hulk reverts back to Bruce Banner and S.H.I.E.L.D. takes him away (Project Cadmus wants him for DNA testing, but Banner falls under the Marvel jurisdiction), Batman grudgingly tells Cass she did a good job, but only after Barbara Gordon shames him into doing so.
Okay, okay. That was silly. Almost as silly as imagining a fight between Cassandra Cain and the Incredible Hulk in the first place. It wouldn't really matter which version of Cass fight the Hulk, the Hulk would win. The Hulk defeats most heroes and villains because he's fast, gets stronger the angrier you make him (you know, by doing things like... oh... fighting him), he's indefatigable and close to invulnerable. The Hulk is a Superman-level opponent. He's thumped the Thing on several occasions, after all. Cass has no business fighting the Hulk.
I do remember a comic where Batman tangled with the Hulk and slapped his ears, causing the Hulk to release him from a crushing bear hug. A writer taking liberties. First of all, the Hulk could literally squish Batman between his hands and second of all, I seriously doubt Batman has the physical strength to pop the Hulk's ears. So I don't see Cass faring any better if the Hulk should somehow turn up in Gotham City. What she would do is try to distract him and delay him long enough for the Justice League and the Avengers to come to the rescue. The Hulk and the super-teams would destroy large portions of central Gotham in the ensuing battle, which Cass, Spoiler and the Robins would largely serve as observers of, while rescuing what citizens they could.
After the Hulk reverts back to Bruce Banner and S.H.I.E.L.D. takes him away (Project Cadmus wants him for DNA testing, but Banner falls under the Marvel jurisdiction), Batman grudgingly tells Cass she did a good job, but only after Barbara Gordon shames him into doing so.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Cassandra Cain versus Spider-Man!
I spent a chunk of yesterday reading various "Cass versus" match-ups on different message boards. One for some reason posited a cage fight between Cass and an oddly de-powered Spider-Man. The discussion that followed was full of RPG-derived jargon and terms like "nerfing," none of which I'll go into here. When I talk Cass-fights, I'm approaching them from a practical, reality-based standpoint (as much as possible when discussing superheroes and magical beings) and as a writer might.
Unfortunately for Cass, Spider-Man is quite a bit out of her power range. As I previously discussed, she may even have a problem reading his body language and predicting his moves if his movements happen to incorporate anything spider-like. This might even be something Spidey's less sensitive foes would never have noticed, but to Cass would be like an irritating buzz just inside the hearing frequencies on some slightly flawed master tape to an expert audiophile. That's just the start of her problems.
I believe Cass would be able to land quite a few blows despite Spider-Man's own spider-sense power and his beyond-human speed and agility, but the Wall-Crawler also possesses incredible resistance to pain and injury. Otherwise his web-swinging acrobatics would have snapped his all-to-human neck or he would have succumbed to any of the number of high-powered blows he's experienced through the years. With her predictive senses only somewhat helpful, Cass still finds herself tagging Spidey, but unable to deal him serious injury. Meanwhile, she proves vulnerable to his attacks-- and remember, his strength level is well above an ordinary human's. Spidey finds Cass very nimble in her own right and capable of dodging some of his punches and kicks, but he's pounding her a lot more than she's pounding him.
Cass might be able to learn some of Spidey's more human-like moves and attacks, but her body-- as peak conditioned as it is-- remains that of a base line human. Cass's fantastic martial arts prowess is ultimately no match for Spidey's freakish nature and greater experience. The resulting fight is brutal, goes on a little longer than Spider-Man might expect or like, but in the end, Cass succumbs.
And that's without Spidey having to use his web-shooters. What if he did employ them? Well, I don't think Cass has much a defense against those, and even if she did, Spidey could possibly whip up enough netting to gum Cass up but good. She could probably find something in her utility belt to free herself, but not before Spidey closes for the coup de grace.
On the other hand, a likely scenario would be the cliched meet-n-fight followed by a team-up where they take down Kingpin who's allied with Penguin for some nefarious scheme that stretches from Gotham City to New York City. If I wrote it, however, I'd just combine the two settings into just New York, with Gotham as its nickname. No cross-dimensional shenanigans for this cross-company cross-over if you please!
Unfortunately for Cass, Spider-Man is quite a bit out of her power range. As I previously discussed, she may even have a problem reading his body language and predicting his moves if his movements happen to incorporate anything spider-like. This might even be something Spidey's less sensitive foes would never have noticed, but to Cass would be like an irritating buzz just inside the hearing frequencies on some slightly flawed master tape to an expert audiophile. That's just the start of her problems.
I believe Cass would be able to land quite a few blows despite Spider-Man's own spider-sense power and his beyond-human speed and agility, but the Wall-Crawler also possesses incredible resistance to pain and injury. Otherwise his web-swinging acrobatics would have snapped his all-to-human neck or he would have succumbed to any of the number of high-powered blows he's experienced through the years. With her predictive senses only somewhat helpful, Cass still finds herself tagging Spidey, but unable to deal him serious injury. Meanwhile, she proves vulnerable to his attacks-- and remember, his strength level is well above an ordinary human's. Spidey finds Cass very nimble in her own right and capable of dodging some of his punches and kicks, but he's pounding her a lot more than she's pounding him.
Cass might be able to learn some of Spidey's more human-like moves and attacks, but her body-- as peak conditioned as it is-- remains that of a base line human. Cass's fantastic martial arts prowess is ultimately no match for Spidey's freakish nature and greater experience. The resulting fight is brutal, goes on a little longer than Spider-Man might expect or like, but in the end, Cass succumbs.
And that's without Spidey having to use his web-shooters. What if he did employ them? Well, I don't think Cass has much a defense against those, and even if she did, Spidey could possibly whip up enough netting to gum Cass up but good. She could probably find something in her utility belt to free herself, but not before Spidey closes for the coup de grace.
On the other hand, a likely scenario would be the cliched meet-n-fight followed by a team-up where they take down Kingpin who's allied with Penguin for some nefarious scheme that stretches from Gotham City to New York City. If I wrote it, however, I'd just combine the two settings into just New York, with Gotham as its nickname. No cross-dimensional shenanigans for this cross-company cross-over if you please!
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Cassandra Cain versus Taskmaster!
Comic Vine's discussion boards are a goldmine of super-wonky comic book discussions about who would win in practically any fight you can imagine. Now the closest things to superpowers Cass has are her abilities to read people's body language and therefore anticipate their next moves and to learn new fighting styles in a matter of minutes just by watching. Batman taught her stick fighting from novice to expert in about five minutes. Now since there's no way he showed her every possible strike, counterstrike and defense in those five minutes or so, we have to assume some sort of higher function when it comes to understanding martial arts-- once she grasps the basic concept, she can use her superior skills and strangely-wired mind to extrapolate from there until she has that expert-level proficiency without having to spend years in practice.
What I'm getting at is what happens when she fights someone with similar abilities? Like Marvel's Taskmaster? Taskmaster can almost instantaneously learn someone's fighting skills just by watching them, which then gives him something like Cass's predictive ability. Well, the fans at Comic Vine hash it out pretty thoroughly, but here's my take.
All things being equal, and both unarmed, I think his greater strength gives Taskmaster the edge, but if Cass can stay a step ahead of Taskmaster, she has a chance to wear him down. Taskmaster and Deathstroke are roughly analogous, and Deathstroke has always given Cass fits. Cass would have a better time predicting Taskmaster's moves than she did Deathstroke's because Deathstroke had some kind of funky kinetic dissonance going on that confused Cass, and she'd be learning from Taskmaster and gaining skills (while Taskmaster would peak out once he'd watched Cass's base martial artistry-- all else would be superfluously his own), but I don't think her greater speed takes his size and mass.
But Taskmaster isn't stupid, so he'd ambush Cass using his sword or fake Captain America shield. Surprised and off-balance from the start by Taskmaster's assault, there's no way Cass develops the skill level fast enough to win even if she found a sword of her own to use. Yes, I said Cass would beat Katana under similar circumstances, but Katana isn't Cass's match in pure martial artistry.
Unfortunately, I have to give this one to Taskmaster. It would be one heck of a fight, though.
What I'm getting at is what happens when she fights someone with similar abilities? Like Marvel's Taskmaster? Taskmaster can almost instantaneously learn someone's fighting skills just by watching them, which then gives him something like Cass's predictive ability. Well, the fans at Comic Vine hash it out pretty thoroughly, but here's my take.
All things being equal, and both unarmed, I think his greater strength gives Taskmaster the edge, but if Cass can stay a step ahead of Taskmaster, she has a chance to wear him down. Taskmaster and Deathstroke are roughly analogous, and Deathstroke has always given Cass fits. Cass would have a better time predicting Taskmaster's moves than she did Deathstroke's because Deathstroke had some kind of funky kinetic dissonance going on that confused Cass, and she'd be learning from Taskmaster and gaining skills (while Taskmaster would peak out once he'd watched Cass's base martial artistry-- all else would be superfluously his own), but I don't think her greater speed takes his size and mass.
But Taskmaster isn't stupid, so he'd ambush Cass using his sword or fake Captain America shield. Surprised and off-balance from the start by Taskmaster's assault, there's no way Cass develops the skill level fast enough to win even if she found a sword of her own to use. Yes, I said Cass would beat Katana under similar circumstances, but Katana isn't Cass's match in pure martial artistry.
Unfortunately, I have to give this one to Taskmaster. It would be one heck of a fight, though.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Cass versus everybody!
What would happen if Cassandra Cain fought other comic book characters? We've seen it in the actual comic books, of course. I'm not talking about stories we've seen. I'm talking stories we will probably never see in a million reboots. Who would Cass beat? Who would beat Cass? The answer is, "The winner would be whoever the scripter needed it to be, regardless of logic or reader opinion." But this is the Internet where everyone has an opinion, including this blogger. After desperately looking for Cass news and finding nothing but a lot of hardcore comic book fans debating Cassandra Cain versus Domino (the Marvel character, not the real person played by Keira Knightley), I've decided to share mine. I'm going to be objective as possible. None of that "Character X loses because I hate Character X" crap that invalidates some fan's arguments.
Here we go:
Batman. Batman wins. Batman always wins. Cass may be nigh-untouchable and capable of punching Batman hard enough to make him spit up blood, but Batman has the ineffable quality of simply being Batman. Plus, if Cass could beat Batman, what would be the point of having a Batman? In story terms, he's got years of experience on her, plus he's a smarter and would cheat if necessary. But I seriously doubt it would be necessary.
Superman. I know Frank Miller popularized the idea Batman would beat Superman, but in truth, Superman would smear Batman. In that he could literally reduce Batman to a red smear at nearly the speed of light. So if Batman beats Cassandra and Superman beats Batman, obviously Superman beats Cass.
Wonder Woman. Much like the Superman fight, this is a person whose power level is far beyond Cass's capabilities. Wonder Woman in a walk.
Batgirl. Which one? Barbara Gordon or Stephanie Brown or Helena Bertinelli, Cass takes them all, either singularly or in a group. She'd mop up the floor with them. But she'd rather not.
Supergirl. Pretty much the same as the Superman fight. Minus those crystal shards from the time these two actually tangled. To be honest, I'm thinking of classic Supergirl. Who would still win.
Robin. Again, any Robin, doesn't matter. Cass would stomp their guts out.
Flash. Cass can't fight what she can't see and probably can't touch. Flash.
Green Lantern. Any of them would defeat Cass by surrounding her with some kind of airtight green energy bubble and suffocating her. Green Lantern wins.
Isis. While Cindy Lee tries to convince Cass that Isis is really an awesome person, Cass springs completely over the ever-cheerful Larkspur High factotum, jukes past a confused Rick Mason, avoids some words of wisdom from Dr. Barnes... only to lose to Isis because Isis is MAGICAL.
Katana. An impressive battle ends with a tired and injured Cass holding Katana captive at the point of her own katana.
Swamp Thing. Cass would mulch and mulch and never win this one.
Teen Titans. Any version of this group would lose to Cass. She'd find a way to exploit their stupidity against them. Kid Flash, Wonder Girl and Cyborg each stand a chance, but they'd trip up somehow. Titans just aren't that bright.
Funky Flashman and Houseroy. Funky falls foul trying to trick Cass into headlining some kind of circus act, then she whips his ass in seconds flat, then does the same to poor Houseroy.
Mr. Miracle and Big Barda. My favorite married couple wins not because they're my favorite married couple but because Mr. Miracle escapes every trap and Big Barda is the consummate warrior.
X-23. The female Wolverine clone with the foot claws and all that. I like to think of her as Marvel's answer to Cass. Even though Wolverine is the most overexposed of heroes, which means here's yet one more version of the same guy, X-23's a nifty character in her own right. This is one I'd love to see happen. Cass might be faster and overall a better fighter, but X-23 has healing powers and claws. It would be a tremendous fight, but I have to give the edge to X-23.
Spider-Man. Spidey would have to get over his initial squeamishness at fighting a young girl and pull out all the stops. I'm not sure how Cass's "reading the person's body language" would help her with someone whose body language is kind of spidery and has webshooters. Spider-Man would take a few blows early in the match until he wakes up and realizes Cass isn't playing around, and then his superhuman abilities would give him the edge and Cass would find herself in a sticky situation, dangling helplessly from a streetlight.
Hulk. Cass would dodge him for a while but she'd get tired eventually, and Hulk never would. Her only hope is evading him long enough for the Air Force or Army to come to her rescue. Otherwise, bye bye Cass.
Iron Man. Beats Cass from a distance.
Fantastic Four. Sue would prove the deciding factor here. The Thing's not fast enough, and neither is Mr. Incredible. Johnny could possibly kill Cass from afar, but he'd never do that. Instead, the Invisible Woman would use a variation on the Green Lantern gambit and render her unconscious, allowing the team to safely capture Cass and place her under observation until some sort of arrangement could be worked out with Batman.
The Punisher. If he snipes Cass from 1000 yards with a 7.62 x 51mm M40A5, he has a chance. And that's more than likely what he'd choose to do if he has advance intelligence on her. Up close, he finds himself frustrated by Cass's lightning fast dodges and attacks and soon finds himself on the south side of Rubber Leg Street.
Silver Surfer. By the Power Cosmic, it's the bald metallic space guy without breaking a sweat!
Uncanny X-Men. Cass stomps her way through some of the junior members and underclasspeople, but then she has to fight the boss squad of such heavyweights as Cyclops, Storm, Colossus and Wolverine himself. That part wouldn't last long, and if she survives, the end result would be similar to her fight with the Fantastic Four.
New Mutants. Cass would cream Moonstar, dodge Cannonball, knock Wolfsbane out, easily thump Doug... but then she has to face Sunspot, Warlock and Magma. She could probably dance rings around Sunspot, but Warlock proves problematic and Magma has massive ranged attacks with lava and earthquakes. If Magik joins in, and Karma, we're looking at about half an issue of fighting, then half an issue of the kids wondering what to do with a beaten, exhausted Cass. They'd all end up having a slumber party, I'm sure.
Wolverine. Like the X2-3 fight, only much, much shorter.
Nexus. No contest. Nexus disintegrates Cass before the fight even gets started. But he wouldn't because she isn't a mass murderer, just a murderer when crappy writers pen her stories.
Gen13. The classic group. They're not much smarter than the Teen Titans despite Caitlin Fairchild's supposed super-genius status, but they'd eventually win. Eventually. Grunge and Burnout crap out early because of their horndog tendencies, leaving Fairchild, Freefall and Rainmaker to close the deal with a series of ranged attacks until Fairchild can get in close and deal a distracted Cass a knock-out blow.
Maggie and Hopey. Cass versus las Locas. Despite Maggie's having dabbled in superheroics, this wouldn't last very long at all. It would be funny as hell, though.
Judge Dredd. If it came down to strictly hand-to-hand, Cass has the edge but Dredd would just shoot her with a heat-seeking bullet and that would be that.
Enid and Rebecca. See "Maggie and Hopey" above. These two girls would snark themselves into a world of hurt.
Hellboy. Hellboy would clean Cass's clock.
Uncle Creepy. Uncle Creepy tries to disorient Cass by drawing her into the nightmare world of his various horror stories, but soon finds she's as fearless as they come. Fighting her way through various axe murderers, vampires, werewolves and zombies, Cass confronts Creepy and chokes him out, then scampers back to her own comic book universe.
Archie Andrews. Cass would destroy America's favorite teen.
Richie Rich. Not even his vast wealth could save the poor little rich boy... unless he can hire one of the potential winners from this list as his champion.
Casper the Friendly Ghost. Incorporeal ghost boy defeats corporeal martial artist every time. Casper couldn't frighten Cass, and he wouldn't actually fight her. He'd just drive her away with his annoying attempts at befriending her.
Okay, that's not quite everybody. Just all the characters I can think of at the moment, plus I've run out of steam. If you have any suggestions, just let me know and I'll give you my honest determination of winner and loser.
Here we go:
Batman. Batman wins. Batman always wins. Cass may be nigh-untouchable and capable of punching Batman hard enough to make him spit up blood, but Batman has the ineffable quality of simply being Batman. Plus, if Cass could beat Batman, what would be the point of having a Batman? In story terms, he's got years of experience on her, plus he's a smarter and would cheat if necessary. But I seriously doubt it would be necessary.
Superman. I know Frank Miller popularized the idea Batman would beat Superman, but in truth, Superman would smear Batman. In that he could literally reduce Batman to a red smear at nearly the speed of light. So if Batman beats Cassandra and Superman beats Batman, obviously Superman beats Cass.
Wonder Woman. Much like the Superman fight, this is a person whose power level is far beyond Cass's capabilities. Wonder Woman in a walk.
Batgirl. Which one? Barbara Gordon or Stephanie Brown or Helena Bertinelli, Cass takes them all, either singularly or in a group. She'd mop up the floor with them. But she'd rather not.
Supergirl. Pretty much the same as the Superman fight. Minus those crystal shards from the time these two actually tangled. To be honest, I'm thinking of classic Supergirl. Who would still win.
Robin. Again, any Robin, doesn't matter. Cass would stomp their guts out.
Flash. Cass can't fight what she can't see and probably can't touch. Flash.
Green Lantern. Any of them would defeat Cass by surrounding her with some kind of airtight green energy bubble and suffocating her. Green Lantern wins.
Isis. While Cindy Lee tries to convince Cass that Isis is really an awesome person, Cass springs completely over the ever-cheerful Larkspur High factotum, jukes past a confused Rick Mason, avoids some words of wisdom from Dr. Barnes... only to lose to Isis because Isis is MAGICAL.
Katana. An impressive battle ends with a tired and injured Cass holding Katana captive at the point of her own katana.
Swamp Thing. Cass would mulch and mulch and never win this one.
Teen Titans. Any version of this group would lose to Cass. She'd find a way to exploit their stupidity against them. Kid Flash, Wonder Girl and Cyborg each stand a chance, but they'd trip up somehow. Titans just aren't that bright.
Funky Flashman and Houseroy. Funky falls foul trying to trick Cass into headlining some kind of circus act, then she whips his ass in seconds flat, then does the same to poor Houseroy.
Mr. Miracle and Big Barda. My favorite married couple wins not because they're my favorite married couple but because Mr. Miracle escapes every trap and Big Barda is the consummate warrior.
X-23. The female Wolverine clone with the foot claws and all that. I like to think of her as Marvel's answer to Cass. Even though Wolverine is the most overexposed of heroes, which means here's yet one more version of the same guy, X-23's a nifty character in her own right. This is one I'd love to see happen. Cass might be faster and overall a better fighter, but X-23 has healing powers and claws. It would be a tremendous fight, but I have to give the edge to X-23.
Spider-Man. Spidey would have to get over his initial squeamishness at fighting a young girl and pull out all the stops. I'm not sure how Cass's "reading the person's body language" would help her with someone whose body language is kind of spidery and has webshooters. Spider-Man would take a few blows early in the match until he wakes up and realizes Cass isn't playing around, and then his superhuman abilities would give him the edge and Cass would find herself in a sticky situation, dangling helplessly from a streetlight.
Hulk. Cass would dodge him for a while but she'd get tired eventually, and Hulk never would. Her only hope is evading him long enough for the Air Force or Army to come to her rescue. Otherwise, bye bye Cass.
Iron Man. Beats Cass from a distance.
Fantastic Four. Sue would prove the deciding factor here. The Thing's not fast enough, and neither is Mr. Incredible. Johnny could possibly kill Cass from afar, but he'd never do that. Instead, the Invisible Woman would use a variation on the Green Lantern gambit and render her unconscious, allowing the team to safely capture Cass and place her under observation until some sort of arrangement could be worked out with Batman.
The Punisher. If he snipes Cass from 1000 yards with a 7.62 x 51mm M40A5, he has a chance. And that's more than likely what he'd choose to do if he has advance intelligence on her. Up close, he finds himself frustrated by Cass's lightning fast dodges and attacks and soon finds himself on the south side of Rubber Leg Street.
Silver Surfer. By the Power Cosmic, it's the bald metallic space guy without breaking a sweat!
Uncanny X-Men. Cass stomps her way through some of the junior members and underclasspeople, but then she has to fight the boss squad of such heavyweights as Cyclops, Storm, Colossus and Wolverine himself. That part wouldn't last long, and if she survives, the end result would be similar to her fight with the Fantastic Four.
New Mutants. Cass would cream Moonstar, dodge Cannonball, knock Wolfsbane out, easily thump Doug... but then she has to face Sunspot, Warlock and Magma. She could probably dance rings around Sunspot, but Warlock proves problematic and Magma has massive ranged attacks with lava and earthquakes. If Magik joins in, and Karma, we're looking at about half an issue of fighting, then half an issue of the kids wondering what to do with a beaten, exhausted Cass. They'd all end up having a slumber party, I'm sure.
Wolverine. Like the X2-3 fight, only much, much shorter.
Nexus. No contest. Nexus disintegrates Cass before the fight even gets started. But he wouldn't because she isn't a mass murderer, just a murderer when crappy writers pen her stories.
Gen13. The classic group. They're not much smarter than the Teen Titans despite Caitlin Fairchild's supposed super-genius status, but they'd eventually win. Eventually. Grunge and Burnout crap out early because of their horndog tendencies, leaving Fairchild, Freefall and Rainmaker to close the deal with a series of ranged attacks until Fairchild can get in close and deal a distracted Cass a knock-out blow.
Maggie and Hopey. Cass versus las Locas. Despite Maggie's having dabbled in superheroics, this wouldn't last very long at all. It would be funny as hell, though.
Judge Dredd. If it came down to strictly hand-to-hand, Cass has the edge but Dredd would just shoot her with a heat-seeking bullet and that would be that.
Enid and Rebecca. See "Maggie and Hopey" above. These two girls would snark themselves into a world of hurt.
Hellboy. Hellboy would clean Cass's clock.
Uncle Creepy. Uncle Creepy tries to disorient Cass by drawing her into the nightmare world of his various horror stories, but soon finds she's as fearless as they come. Fighting her way through various axe murderers, vampires, werewolves and zombies, Cass confronts Creepy and chokes him out, then scampers back to her own comic book universe.
Archie Andrews. Cass would destroy America's favorite teen.
Richie Rich. Not even his vast wealth could save the poor little rich boy... unless he can hire one of the potential winners from this list as his champion.
Casper the Friendly Ghost. Incorporeal ghost boy defeats corporeal martial artist every time. Casper couldn't frighten Cass, and he wouldn't actually fight her. He'd just drive her away with his annoying attempts at befriending her.
Okay, that's not quite everybody. Just all the characters I can think of at the moment, plus I've run out of steam. If you have any suggestions, just let me know and I'll give you my honest determination of winner and loser.
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