Those crazy Deltas. Always pulling pranks on Dean Wormer. Always throwing toga parties. Exploding toilets, filling the trees around campus with underwear, dumping a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet, having the medical school cadavers delivered to the alumni dinner. Finally crashing the Faber College Homecoming parade and causing untold damage to the community resulting in bankruptcy of DePasto Auto Sales, plus the end of Wormer's academic career in the ensuing scandal over his high-handed tactics as a school administrator.
Yes, the Deltas defeated Dean Wormer and the snobbish WASP-types of the Omega Theta Pi fraternity who were so willing to do his dirty work and ended up in various fascistic establishment jobs such as Army officer and Nixon White House aide. But how would they fare against DC's greatest martial artist, a young woman raised from infancy with violence as her native language?
Let's find out!
Flounder. As easy take-down for Cass, Flounder offers little to no resistance whatsoever. He might try to trip her up by throwing six thousand marbles at her feet, but she could easily anticipate such a move and leap to firmer footing, then swiftly close the distance, at which point Flounder has no natural defenses. A quick grasp of his untucked pajama bottoms and Flounder finds himself vulnerable to all kinds of choke holds and close-quarter combat moves.
Pinto. Slender and in better shape than his friend Flounder, Pinto is similarly overmatched by Cass. His sole chance would be to disorient her with his high-pitched giggle, but there is little chance of this providing more than a moment's hesitation on Cass's part.
Stork. Perhaps the most unusual looking of the Deltas with his odd haircut and long raincoat, Stork has no defensive or offensive techniques beyond perhaps calling Cass a "MOE-RON!" Since this would be meaningless sound to her, she'd quickly make hash of the Stork, perhaps giving him real brain-damage to go with the assumed.
Mothball. A generic Delta pledge, he would go down quickly having made little or no impression on Cass.
Hoover. His main defense is to try to reason with Cass using his superior communication and persuasive skills. However he would fail because Cass doesn't understand human language. She would comprehend his defensive body posture, and while he's larger and somewhat more physically capable than Pinto, the fight would last no longer and the result would be the same.
Boon. Boon relies mostly on evasion and his quick wit, neither of which would have much effect on Cass. A characteristic Boon tactic is to pretend to dance with his opponent, then to fall limp in his or her arms. Cass could predict the final move, allow Boon to drop to the ground, then bring her foot down on his face, rendering him unconscious at once. Alternately, she might then clamber on top of him and attempt an arm bar or an ankle lock, snapping the bone if Boon refuses to tap out.
Otter. Otter has a certain smarmy charm and ability as a ladies' man, but Cass would dodge his sexual entreaties and malaprop double entrendres regarding cucumbers and administer a swift beating to Otter, perhaps blackening one of his eyes and disheveling the shirt underneath his sweater. He does have a decent right cross, but there's absolutely no chance he would get a chance to land it.
D-Day. Fight incomplete. Current whereabouts unknown.
Bluto. A force of nature, and possessed of limitless endurance and the ability to rapidly chug an entire fifth of Jack Daniels in a matter of seconds, Bluto would nevertheless succumb to Cass's superior fighting skills. She might find herself surprised momentarily by Bluto's near-superhuman resilience, but in the end she'd still find his weak point and incapacitate him in a way mere alcohol seems unable to.
The chances of Cass having to fight the Deltas are very small. It's more likely she'd find her opponents from among the following:
The Faber College ROTC. Led by cadet officer Douglas C. Neidermeyer and numbering among its ranks one freshman recruit Chip Diller, the ROTC aligns itself with the more authoritarian Omegas rather than the free-spirited, anarchic Deltas. A likely scenario finds Dean Wormer calling upon the ROTC to attempt to capture or perhaps (in the case of Neidermeyer, who carries a live round just in case) kill Cass to prevent campus unrest as per a little known codicil to the Faber College constitution, and the resulting battle would end in much the same way as the infamous Blutarsky Cafeteria Incident: with a badly injured Neidermeyer trapped underneath a pile of uniformed figures, only this time all of them in various states of semi- or unconsciousness.
Omega Theta Pi. The likeliest opponent faced by Cass during her campus visit. While the Deltas might welcome her as a kindred spirit as they do with Boon's on-and-off-again girlfriend Katy-- they are considered "toxic" by the college administration, these cocky, overweening children of privilege would more than likely take umbrage at Cass's appearance and instigate some sort of foolish attempt to discredit her, perhaps by luring her to a hotel room for an ambush or by ostracizing her socially. President Greg Marmalard would prove the limpest opposition to Cass despite talking a good game. Ultimately, he's too soft and possessed of something of a glass chin. This fight would last a few minutes only because of the sheer number of fraternity members involved. It would take Cass time to work her way through their house and back out into the night where she might be briefly tempted to join the pillow fight with Babs Jansen and Mandy Pepperidge at the nearby sorority house before deciding on heading back to Gotham City for greater challenges.
Possibly driving Deathmobile, which, with slight modifications, would make the perfect Cass Batmobile.